Untold Sentiments
by He'sSoLifelike
Summary: After Rossi's impromptu cooking lesson, Emily and JJ have a much needed heart-to heart. Set after 7x02, gen/no pairings.  This is my first fanfiction, so I apologize if it's flame-worthy.


**A/N: This is my first [published] fanfiction, so I apologize if it's horrible. Set in current season seven, starting after the end of 7x02. No romantic pairings, kind of angst-y.**

**Disclaimer: CBS is the supreme ruler of Criminal Minds; I own nothing except my words.**

"_It is more shameful to distrust one's friends than to be deceived by them." -Duc de la Rochefoucauld_

The team began to depart from Rossi's mansion-like home, exchanging warm goodbyes and appreciative words with Rossi. Just as Emily was about to open her car's door, she felt a light tap on her shoulder. She turned her head around, smiling to see JJ's face. Her smile slowly faltered as she noticed the hesitant look her friend was wearing.

"Hey, Emily... could we maybe talk?" Emily bit her lip in response. She knew they hadn't had much time lately to talk in depth about the recent happenings, and although she wasn't looking forward to it, she knew they needed to figure some things out. About each other, and about themselves.

"Of course, JJ... but not in Rossi's driveway. I don't think he'd appreciate the loitering." She lightly joked with JJ.

"No, he wouldn't," she agreed "how about Starbucks? There's one not even five minutes away from here." Emily nodded.

"See you in not even five, then?" Emily said, putting her hands on the car door.

"Yeah." JJ took one more glance as Emily got into her car, before retreating to her own.

JJ sighed, as she started her car. She knew that things weren't the same between them. Although they were friends for years there was still some conflicting feelings towards the other... which, after what she called "The Doyle Incident," was inevitable. They arrived at Starbucks in, as JJ had predicted, less than five minutes. JJ entered the coffee shop first, sitting at an isolated table in the corner for their privacy. She chewed on her bottom lip- a nervous habit she had picked up on from Emily. She regretted asking Emily to meet her; afraid of what revelations the conversation would lead to. This talk needed to happen though- the underlying tension hidden behind their friendly banter was dampening their friendship. JJ mentally calmed herself, and waited for Emily to walk through the glass doors.

To say Emily was nervous was an understatement. Although she had no doubt in her mind that JJ didn't_ hate_ her, per se, she knew that she silently resented her for forcing her to lie to the team; their family. Hell, she had some conflicting feelings towards the blonde herself. They mightn't be as vocal about their frustration towards each other as Reid was, but it lingered over them, invading their thoughts. She sighed, put on her famous "Prentiss Poker Face," and slowly ascended the steps of the building. She inhaled a deep breath of cold autumn air, and pushed open the door.

Emily sauntered into the coffee shop, and ordered two grande chocolate crème frappuccinos- the pair's secret indulgence. She thanked the server as he handed them to her, and advanced to the isolated table in the corner, where JJ sat. The corner of Emily's mouth twitched; noticing JJ frantically chewing on her bottom lip like her life depended on it.

"It'd be best if you didn't chew your lip off JJ." Emily smirked as she sat down beside her, passing over her chocolatey drink.

"That's kind of hypocritical, seeing as I contracted this habit from you..." JJ retorted, gratefully accepting the cup. "And thank you."

"No problem, the staff would probably kick us out if we weren't sipping something, anyways." Emily said with a roll of her eyes. "So..."

"Yeah," JJ said "so."

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, neither sure what should be said, so they occupied the slightly awkward silence by drinking their frappacinos. JJ decided to permeate the silence first.

"A lot has gone down while you were gone, Emily." Emily's head shot up at the sound of JJ's soft voice bursting through the lack of conversation.

"I know." She stated almost solemnly.

"No, I don't think you do, Em." JJ said with sad eyes. She looked up at the brunette and continued. "Emily, I do not regret helping to save your life for one second, but..."

"But you hate me for causing you to lie to the team." Emily finished her sentence.

"I don't hate you... I just..." She looked down "I hate what you made me do." Tears threatened to fall, but JJ held them back.

"JJ-"

"Let me finish. It wasn't just the lying; it's that... it's that I'm not Hotch. I'm not _you_. I can't hide my emotions behind a brick wall, and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do... compartmentalize." JJ spit out the last word with such contempt that it nearly surprised Emily. Before Emily could comment, she continued. "It was hard telling Henry that 'Aunty Emmy' wasn't going to take him out for ice cream anymore. It was hard when Penelope called me in the late evening, sobbing. It was hard when Will asked me what was wrong and I had to tell him that you had _died_, when you were really gallivanting across Europe trying to track down a goddamn _terrorist_! And it was hard when Spence showed up at my house every night for months on end, crying himself to near hysteria over a lie fabricated to protect _you_ over something _you_ started! Lying to them wasn't hard, Emily. It was watching them fall apart at the seams that killed me."

By the end of her speech, tears were streaming down her face and the couple in the table next to them had started to stare.

Emily was speechless. No matter how hard she tried, her mouth refused to form a coherent sentence. Her heart broke for what pain she had caused, although she had to admit to herself she was surprised JJ was as blunt as she was. She swallowed her pride, and started to speak.

"Jayje... I understand. And before you say I don't, I really do. As if life in the BAU wasn't stressful enough, I had to dump all my baggage on top of it. I get that you hate me for all the pain I've caused- hell, I resent myself for it. But JJ you have to understand that it wasn't my decision to fake my own death! Do you think that would be the first thing that popped into my head when I woke up after surgery? To run away from my team-my family, and in the process cause even more heartache than before? I'm not saying I'm innocent, I agreed with Hotch, but…" Emily trailed off, staring into the distance, unsure of what to say next.

"But what, Emily?"

"But you're not entirely guiltless in this situation, are you?" Emily mumbled, staring into her half-empty cup like it held the answers of the universe.

"Not to sound conceited, but how so?" JJ pondered, glancing at the older woman.

"You let them do it. You let Hotch… you pronounced me dead before I could even object. Before you could even confer with me… I had no say in my own existence. You know I'm grateful that you saved my life, but… you also ended it, in a way." Emily's eyes slowly met JJ's, who was surprised to see a tear lazily sliding down her cheek. Sure, Emily Prentiss could take a beating without batting an eyelash, but when having to face her emotions… she turned out to be a big softie.

"I… I never knew that you felt that way." JJ sputtered, suddenly ashamed of her derogatory sentiments towards the woman shedding tears in front of her. "I guess it was easier… to put all the blame on you and feel guiltless."

"I agree with you on that one," Emily announced, wiping her tears with her sleeve "it was much simpler to throw all the blame on you and Hotch rather than admit that my own past caused this. I never really wanted to put myself in your place, because I knew it would hurt… and as pathetic as this may sound, I couldn't handle any more emotional pain. I'm so sorry."

"So am I, Emily. So am I." JJ nodded, along with her apology, understanding Emily's point of view. As the conversation halted, they noticed a peculiar silence that was definitely not there earlier. They took a look around the room, each finding the sight before their eyes hysterical. The entire coffee shop, excluding the employees of course, was staring open-mouthed at them.

"I guess… I guess we may have raised our voices a little bit beyond normal coffee-shop etiquette." Emily sputtered out between giggles.

"I guess so!" JJ replied, smiling at her alive and breathing friend.

The two women left that coffee shop soon subsequent to a few more minutes of mindless gossip only women would care about. As they drove home, one thing simultaneously ran through both their minds: _God_, I've missed her.

"_Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with." -Mark Twain_

**A/N: Let me know what you think! I'm thinking of continuing the rest of the angst!bingo... one down, 24 more to go! I accept constructive criticism, but please no flames. Thank you for reading!**

**-ILEP**


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